coincidence of illusion

boring days

2008-08-21T13:55:00.003+08:00

these are the boring days at work that results to channeling thoughts to the blog.
though i know i have exactly nothing to channel. the constant surfing of the net, online shopping and nothing else drives me crazy. because i seemingly can't get down to reading my notes are any other more informative stuff online.

SMACK ME.

The wait for the results are driving me crazy. So are many other random stuff.

2008-08-20T11:11:00.003+08:00

why am i ever EVER whining like a spoilt brat?

as much as i hate to say, i really hate you because you make me hate myself.

not that i have ever known, i never knew this side of me existed.

i hate to whine and whine and ask for nonsense.

despite constant reminders of nots and stop, i can't.

and i really appreciate your help for saying no and getting all irritate and screaming 'what you want? just keep whining?'

i see exactly how irritated you are and it scares the brain stiff.

do you still love me?

2008-08-06T14:46:00.002+08:00

Did I also forget that I went skinny dipping at the hot spring and Dr. Fish Spa in Korea? Splendid.

And I fell in love with benefit cosmetics.

3 months after

2008-08-06T14:15:00.003+08:00

The last post was posted almost three months ago. In between now and then I did a million incoherent things.

I bought a kenwood mixer and got my ass down to baking but failed miserably. Mom and I, along with many others begin to suspect if I was a girl. Then I stupidly cut the curls away that lasted barely three months and had it short, grew long and i went for another trim and it has grown long again. Now, i miss them or rather the hair.

While the hair was growing, we headed to Korea and developed a freaking disgusting tannline on my feet because of the scorching sun one day at everland. Fell in love with the bear museum and started using laneige. Saw only clothes and forgot about krispykremes. Got myself back to Singapore after 8 kimchi days.

(I've lost all skills to write in prose form)

As usual, i became a loser and locked myself up at home playing Sims 2 and mahjong-ing all day long. Spend my lifelong savings on shopping. Got myself plenty of new clothes and a Katie. Started to whine about how broke i am and saved again. Then came the idea of having an annual getaway with the bunniehunny. This year, we the broke kids are heading the Bintan, Angsana Resort. But who's kidding what, i am changing USD for it so i could go there for a million spas and massages which i so freaking look forward. As the release of results draw near, I have decided this shall be a treat for passing the exams. HAHA. Guess what? I doubt the ability to proceed to year 2. I FREAKING DON'T WANNA SPEND ANOTHER TEN THOU!!! Alright, 3 whole months of frolicking around, lying to friends that i am sorry i have no time and other plans was all really because I needed this time to myself. Because work, study, family, friends and bunny is no mean feat. In fact, i hate it because I am such a Wendy person. In the pass 2 months, the only people i met up with is Jas, Vera, Nimiqoh and that's about it. Went for a cruise with Dad and jackpot-ed quite a bit, not me, DAD. And school started and i wondered why the heck am i doing Introduction to Business and Management. But i suppose it's okay cause i love to write. In this super incoherent manner but my lecturer says i give clear expressions. Before i forget, I found out how guys can be so petty and weird that they specifically need a code between them. So old skool? NO, so primary school. Still, i suppose i was the idiot that cause a row between them. Oh well..

Hi, this is Wendy your loner friend.(:

2008-05-17T23:05:00.003+08:00

sometimes, we obviously do hope things never change. inevitably, that never happens.
please erase all thoughts of me forgetting you. the missing will NEVER cease.
i hate accounting and i miss the boy in the field and his little pood.

i've been wondering, ten years down the road when i read back on these posts am i still going to remember everything that i am trying put across here? the content are all so damn vague.
at times there's really this urge to spell every single detail but there's this odd sense of fear that other's will know what's up in my life.
alright, please in the first place who reads.

JL: eh, so what are you up to this weekend? next paper's in one weeks' time.
W: err.. i think i am heading out with my mommy.
JL: huh? why every week also mommy?

i got no friends. sigh.
HAHAH.

2008-05-14T15:17:00.002+08:00

miss nothing less or more of it.

hey there.

2008-04-24T16:51:00.002+08:00

i have nothing to blog about.

i really miss you so.):

2008-03-03T13:01:00.002+08:00

i am losing my writing skills in prose form.

there are so much that i wanna put up here, yet a part of me just want to keep things short.

i am thankful for you.

i don't know how i can thank you for being around.

and even though the last time we really met up was almost two years back, i am glad that things haven't changed a single bit.

we could still communicate with no barriers or feeling awkward and that makes me sure about the term friends forever.

i thank you for being there when i'm through my most trying times and that till now, you could still speak to me about it knowing that what i need most is to talk about things over and over again.

and to me that was a huge loss that time will never never erase.

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.

2008-01-16T11:53:00.000+08:00

if you get there before i do, don't give up on me
i'll meet you when my chores are through
i don't know how long i'll be
but i am not going to let you down
darling wait and see
in between now and then till i see you again i will be loving you, love me

not a second passes without me missing you.
i love you kor kor. i wish nothing happened, ever happened.

2008-01-10T15:06:00.000+08:00

my time stood still the day i turned twenty.

it will take forever and ever to move on.

iloveyoukor.always and forever.

fats.

2007-11-29T15:19:00.000+08:00

bowl of cornflakes.burgerking breakfast.currypuff.papaya.beehoon. all in less than 4hours.
hello tummy!

yeah i can't help but to think you are really weird fgf. hurry off to study and stop hogging the com thinking about your shrek!!hahah. i am wondering if you will happen to read this. but anyhow, i am somehow excited for your post exams so i could see you again. but i am so upset we can't head for zoukout.zzzz..sian.

okay bye.

2007-11-06T14:50:00.000+08:00

i've been oddly talking to my brain again, in an oddly sad mood. but i am glad to have you.

and so i wonder what have i done with my time and i realise nothing but just rotting it away, sleeping, shopping, and day-dreaming. i need to get back to my books. still constantly procrastinating. my lectures are almost spent in the question marks mode.

read my texts for finance

do my practice for a/cs; cash flow statements, b/s and pL

indifference preference thy, isoquant/isocosts, pc tut.

2007-11-05T10:36:00.000+08:00

i wanna be mummy's baby again.

i hate it when she takes my stuff without asking and especially when i wanna use it that day.

FUCKINGBITCH.

iamanangstykidthis morning.

2007-10-31T10:55:00.001+08:00

remember back in elementary days, your english class teacher always forced you to write a composition on 'what's your future ambition?'

and then i thought, 'i wanna be a doctor! save lives.' i happily penned in down.

only to realise halfway through that that wasn't really what i aspired to be.

midway through life, i got hooked onto a particular 'hk lawyer' kinda show and i changed my mind. now i wanna be a lawyer. and then i started reading the papers. and i wanna be those that helped fought the bad. i was evolving into a evil soul. and then i turned 19, i was about to take my a levels and i realised that i was in deep shit because i never passed a single paper in jc except econs. i went to the bank one saturday morning and i met a financial consultant. i changed my mind yet again. i told myself i was going to be one or some economic analyst nonsense. and i set myself on this. and then these days, someone keeps coming to me and influence me on his bold idea to set up a high end boutique selling all the materials we always wanted and i am stuck between.

why is it that we always waver in our determination?

2007-10-30T14:14:00.000+08:00

mental note.

i am such a pig, i sleep so much till i made someone angry.
STOP SLEEPING.
aaahhney, wendy's sorry.

2007-10-22T15:22:00.000+08:00

i am just beginning to wonder where all that insecurities came from.

wend: i hate all these la. why must all these disgusting memories keep flooding back to me?
brain: eh.. it's definitely not your fault. you are just being cautious, protecting yourself silly darling.
wend: but everyone's moved on, no one remember these things like i do...
brain: hm.. then move on too?
wend: its so hard to. i am just feeling so God damn insecure. it feels like its default.
brain: get a grip wendy. you are move lovely than you think.
wend: do you reckon that i enjoy questioning myself half the time. i wish i had higher self esteem.
it begins right now brain. help me and i love you brain so much. half time for destroying me by not helping me to think rationally and to remember the oddest of happenings, a quarter of the time insulting me so i could improve myself which always end up futile. and the other 3/4 of the quarter for dreaming hard enough to get me going and the last bit to help remember knowledge. you will never comprehend the love i have for you, my pea brain
brain: fuckyou.
wend: i hate you just as much as i love you.
brain: hem and haw queen.

new found best friend. BRAIN.

2007-10-17T16:09:00.000+08:00

TIME TRAVELLING DEVICE pleassseee..

i miss somuch. iam so notemo.

2007-10-15T14:51:00.000+08:00

Aaahhney!!!!

we are going to have a Chow Chow named Woody.

and name our daughter Roxanne

(all because my seven's and mulberry's model is named this.)

but watty says Roxanne sounds cool because Roxanne Lee Rocks. and we are so excited over this even though its ten years down the road with the unexpected that could happen in this decade.

our son will still be called Donatelle, named after Ninja turtles Donatello the purple one. Wendy likes purple. till we find a better name...

Michelangelo sounds way to odd for a baby boy's name.

Donatelle's cool.

-Roxanne X 2

-Camper polka dottys

-Ctryrd tops.

QUITDREAMINGBITCH!!!

2007-10-04T10:07:00.000+08:00

in the light of the sun

is there anyone?

oh it has begun

oh dear, you look so lost

eyes are red

and tears are shed,

this world you must've crossed.

you said,

you don't know me

and you don't even care,

oh yeah

she said,

you don't know me,

and you don't wear my chains,

oh yeah

essential yet appealed,

carry all your thoughts

across an open field,

when flowers gaze at you,

they're not the only ones

who cry when they see you.

you said,

you don't know me,

and you don't even care,

oh yeah,

we said,

you don't know me,

and you don't wear my chains,

oh yeah.

she said i think i'll go to boston.

i think i'll start a new life.

i think i'll start it over,

where no one knows my name.

i'll get out of california,

i'm tired of the weather,

i think i'll get a lover and fly them out to spain.

i think i'll go to boston.

i think that i'm just tired.

i think i need a new town,

to leave this all behind.

i think i need a sunrise,

i'm tired of sunset,

i hear it's nice in the summer,

some snow would be nice, oh yeah.

you don't know me,

and you don't even care,

oh yeah,

boston, where no one knows my name

where no one knows my name

boston, where no one knows my name.

2007-09-27T11:49:00.000+08:00

its so sickening when others decide for you that no errors are to be made in your life. not that i have none but it gets on my nerves when they decide to tell you, 'hey wendy, look. we can't afford to have mistakes. really.' and then they stare at you with that sympathetic look like as though you are beyong recognition and what you are made off. and then they turn around and say, 'season for mistakes?'

sometimes, i find this so hard to carry on. thankfully for new random ppl i meet in sch once in a while. i just can't seem to comprehend everything that's going on. i wish for a genie that has no limitations to give me what i WANT. more than just this. i wanna study like a normal teen. pleasssee..

i wish i was more more more firm on my decisions.

2007-09-13T15:07:00.000+08:00

finally did my first online shopping.

i got hooked up.(:

kudos to miss jasmine.

and i am contemplating to change to livejournal. just signed up for facebook. damn intereactive but is perpetually filled with rubbish.

meeting the turtles this sat. yippies!!!

someone's birthday is arriving in a month. and i feel so helpless about it.

hahah!

and i am finally learning new stuff in school.

modules for the term, poa, pbf, intro to econs (read: 7 different types of ppf curves).

i could see my past right now.

2007-09-04T17:24:00.001+08:00

wend: eh! why you like that one (whining,) ? come UP and hug me la.
wats: no you come down.
wend: no you come up.
wats: no you come down.
wend: why? you come up la.
wats: the bed is very creaky.
wend: HUH?! bad excuse!!
wats: it's easier to roll down.

suggesting that i am round now?

was found on rocky, ROCKY roads a few days back. apparently self proclaimed by wendy. nvm. and so we got out and tried to catch hairspray ystd but to no avail cos its freaking school holidays and all the little kids neglect their studies and trying to get into the holiday mood which results only the first three rows available for purchasing. oh whatever! so in the end, we didn't catch the show.

on another note, i am beginning to feel super sick of work because of some random colleague which totally pisses me of most of the time. i have never seen a guy so paranoid than him. somehow, i just feel that no matter how much you try to deny or cover it up, it doesn't seem to work. okay it doesn't. somehow, the essence of it just leaks through. ( i am making it sound like food now) o well. i don't wanna spoil my own mood.

i am trying desperately to save money. my expenses every 2 weeks is 200 dollars. doesn't it just sound so perfect. its sucking me dry.

2007-08-16T11:44:00.000+08:00

i am dying to post up pictures but i have none.
i am dying to finish up my story but i have no inspiration or whatsoever
(no will to even type down what i have written during lessons)
i feel damn like going overseas to study.
the chronicles of wats's army life.

wats: yup. oh. you take care ar. if not weekend no need to swim already. haha.
wend: hahah. ok(: you really bringing me t swim? i was thinkin of cycling. i am so fickle.
wats: well it's up to you. but can we do something less tedious? haha
wend: hahah why? cycling very tedious meh? hahah
wats: yup. can do something more relaxing? hahah.

army suss out the lazy bugs in them so terribly that leisure cycling becomes a tedious act.
hmmm..

2007-08-10T14:15:00.000+08:00

terribly SALTY and OILY lunch.
a bowl of sesame paste which was nice but equally disgusting halfway through.

i can never never keep up with my diet program
grrs.

and i HATE cpf seriously sucks half your damn pay away. pfft.

angry kid in store.

2007-08-07T15:06:00.000+08:00

koka tomato marinara or thai tom yum for lunch tmr?

2007-08-01T11:12:00.000+08:00

i feel like an emo nemo now.

i wish i could blog this in a language no one understood. but anyhow, it doesn't matter since no one really knows that i have a blog and reads it which uh.. pleases me.

i read a book and i became all emo because of this book. call me stupid, call me dumb but i just can't help but to say it relates a lot to me. other than the fact that i don't have a best friend that lasted me thru five till now.
but isn't it so true that i am turning twenty in four months time yet i still look around for advice, for someone to be there to assure me that what i am doing is right. give me a quick nudge, even the weirdest advice makes me feel better. i still look around to check and see what others are doing, to make sure i am not completely different. why is that i feel like i am the only person confused and concerned about the choices i have made and where i have headed? everywhere i look,i see people getting on with it, being so sure of their lives.

and i can't seem to follow suit.
never mind that, i am starting to feel so confused about what i am doing right now.
GROWUPWENDYANDSTOPWHINING.

ihatetotell youthisbutiamnotsureaboutyouanymore.
heyiknowiamsowrongbutijustcantadmitcosifidoiamcontradictingmyselfterribly.
whydoyouhavetogosuchmeasures.damn.thesedaysijustdontthinkyouaretheone
anymoremaybeyouneverwerefromthefirstdaytillnowitwasmewhowantedyouback
andwhydidievendothatwasntitfinewhenyousaidyouwantedtoleaveandiweepedallday
andsomehowfoundawayoutbutstickedtoyouthenirealisesoonenoughthatitwasfinebeing
alonecosihavefriendswholovemebutthenyoustuckyourfootinagainandigladlyoblige
butdidntknowifitwasrightandwegotonnowalmostayearagain
butsometimesfeellikethefeelingsaresofadedtheywerenomoreinexistenceand
nowifinallyrealisethatwhatwedidwassowrongandthatwhenweendedayearandahalfago
weshouldsimplymoveonnowthefeelingssodeepifinditsohardtoletgo
wehavehadunfulfilleddreamsthatwhenithinkaboutismileandcringesohard
feelingloved.realitycheck:wrongdirection.how?

2007-08-01T10:14:00.000+08:00

To the most inconsiderate asshole of a friend
I'm writing this because I know that if I say what I have to say to your face I will probably punch you.
I don’t know you anymore. I don’t see you any more. All I get is a quick text or a rushed email from you every few days. I know you are busy and I know you have Bethany, but hello? I’m supposed to be your best friend.
You have no idea what this summer has been like. Since we were kids, we pushed away every single person that could possibly have been out friend until there was only me and you. It’s not that we didn’t want anyone else, it’s just that we didn’t need them. You always had me. I always had you. Now you have Bethany and I have no one.
Sadly, it looks like you don’t need me any more. I feel like those other people that used to try to become our friends. I know you’re probably not doing it deliberately just as we never did. Anyway, I’m not moaning on how much I hate her, I’m just trying to tell you that I miss you. And that, well… I’m lonely.
Whenever you cancel nights out, I end up staying home with mum and dad watching TV. Stephanie’s always out and even Kevin has more of a life than I do. It’s so depressing. This was supposed to be our summer of fun. What happened? Can’t you be friends with two people at once?
I know you have found someone who is extra special, and that you both have a unique ‘bond’, or whatever, that you and I will never have. But we have another bond: we’re best friends. Or does the best friend bond disappear as soon as you meet someone else? Maybe it does, and I just don’t understand that because I haven’t met that ‘somebody special’. I’m not in any hurry to either. I liked things the way they were.
In a few years’ time, if my name ever comes up you will probably say, ‘Rosie. Now there’s a name I haven’t heard in ages. We used to be best friends. I wonder what she’s doing now; I haven’t seen or thought of her in years!’ you will sound like my mum and dad when they have dinner parties with friends and talk about old times. They mention people I’ve never heard of when they’re talking about some of the most important days of their lives. How could mum’s bridesmaid of twenty years ago be someone she doesn’t even ring up now? Or in dad’s case, how could he not know where his own best friend from school lives?
Anyway, my point is (I know, I know, there is one), I don’t want to be one of those easily forgotten people, so important at the time, so special, so influential and so treasured, yet years later just a vague face and a distant memory. I want us to be best friends for ever, Alex.
I’m happy you’re happy, really I am, but I feel like I’ve been left behind. Maybe our time has come and gone. Maybe your time is now meant to be spent with Bethany. And if that’s the case I won’t bother sending you this letter then what am I doing. Still writing? Ok, I’m going now and I’m ripping these muddled thoughts up.

Your friend,
Rosie

ripped this out of a book.

2007-07-25T13:40:00.000+08:00

it's lunch break again.
let's just see what i have eaten, islandcreamery's cookies and cream. ramen no.100 and a digestive biscuit from m&s.
i reckon this is what accounts to me forsaken weight and size these days.

i was at the dental clinic ystd and guess what happened.

"eh wendy, ni yue bian yue fei leh. bie ren fang braces slim down leh, how you put on weight??" the dental asst EXCLAIMED.
" huh? really ar? die !!"
"your friends never tell you that you are putting on weight?"
" yes! many did. even my mum and i can't fit into my clothes anymore. i am really up set about it. shit!!"
"never mind la. you look very quite like that."

on the happier note, i can take off the chunks of metals real sooon.(:
which means no more help from it to slim down. i will work things out with the fats on my own. ASAP. the week before i kept to me exercising regime, then last i was down with fever and this, enormity appetite is back. hmm..

HOW HOW HOW?! how to go back to 49? i am so many kgs away now!! i feel so depressed by my weight man.
i need to watch the amt i eat seriously.

i realise nearly every post is about how fat i am. i am wondering how i did it last year. losing 3 kg in a month i think. grrs!!

FATTY BOM BOM.

2007-07-19T09:32:00.000+08:00

these days i write a post and then i decide not to post it.
i think i am mad.

my heart's full of misses for many friends(animals)
wabbit, turtles and then canned dice...

2007-07-17T17:21:00.000+08:00

i always feel very much of an idiot in front of the com till these days when i
start to do more(in my perspective) intellectual stuff with the com like using
the excel sheet.
EFFICIENTLY(:
new skilled learnt. plus bucks flowing in to the cash machine.

i feel so down and out these days cause of the persistent fever and swelling
throat. i think my tonsils are inflammed, maybe very.
these days i rattle on and on. i reckon i really miss people whom i can talk to
for hours and hours.
but everyone's so preoccupied with their lives a meet up seems so impossible
right now.):

Dear God, give us all a common 'free' day. AMEN!(:

2007-07-13T15:55:00.000+08:00

someone said i have a different type of school experience.
but many a times i wished i had the same...

finished lunch just a while ago had Crystal Jade Korean ginseng
or whatever restaurant. the saba fish was good(: then i had island creamery's
cookies and cream.

my hands are still freezing and i am really sleepy now.

YAWNS.

2007-07-12T15:11:00.000+08:00

realised that i am bored already?(:

okay

LUNCH- velvety mushroon stragnoff from soup spoon(:

2 cups of HOT milo (turns cold on my desk)

i feel like a fcuking fat bitch now.

i never kept up with my exercising regime!!

GOD! kill me.

the weekends are ahead...

2007-07-11T14:35:00.000+08:00

just done with lunch. had some rice, french beans, curry veg and steamed egg.
sounds like a healthy lunch?

i think everyone can tell i am really bored.

okays. bye.

2007-07-11T10:41:00.000+08:00

i am starting to blog very often because i have
absolutly nothing to do at work right now and the rest of the day.
PLEASE LET ME DIE.

for the first time in my life,
i polished a pair of boots. man, it was shiny.(:

and for a long time, i fell asleep instantly on bed.

and for the many times, i miss the turtles.
when do we meet again?

hmmm..

2007-07-10T15:41:00.000+08:00

staring real hard at this screen feeling the weirdest
of all days.
the post-it on the cpu sees a dog laying down dead
CAPTION: God, get me through this day.
energy is seeping away from me every other moment
and like this comic strip i certainly need God to help
me through this forsaken tuesday.
the office is cold and everyone has things to do EXCEPT me.
i'm fcuking bored.
but there isn't much of a choice since i'm 2days old.

the comic writes: wednesday, please let me die.
i'm so sure about this.

i'm in an author's mood today. hmm..

-i'm so fat i need to diet/exercise very badly.

2007-07-03T19:38:00.000+08:00

mid-life crisis?! mid-teen crisis.

led a life that was hardly mine alone. i miss the turtles terribly. what happened to us? when our lives were once so closely knitted.
gone separate ways but i can't help smiling when i reminisce on our sleepovers.
i wish i had never knocked out then.

girl, don't you miss it? where have you been too?

2007-05-28T15:14:00.000+08:00

its been nearly three months since i last updated. so much of things had happened from a level's results to a trip down to hk, to growing fat and now being rejected.

its getting real depressing to think that my grades couldn't even warrant me a place in a local u. i mean i just feel so unjustified plus its not like i fared badly or anything. its stressing things out.

to address a particular turtle, whether you manage to see this or not. i miss us just as much. apparently you seem to be the only one i'm still contacting which is but very very saddening. we'll have to meet up soon. i'm so fcuking depressed now. not having a school is making me more than just terrible. i miss you guys. but but i will make you happy now by posting up something real nice! (:

like her, i miss many other individuals too. i'm just so sick of that monotonous life.

how's krispy kreme baby turtle?(:

hope it made you smile.

2007-02-19T17:30:00.000+08:00

i'm so disheveled now.

i love you, i loved you all along
and i miss you, been far away for far too long
i keep dreaming that you will be with me and you will never know.
stop breathing if i don't see you anymore.
i want it i wanna hear you stay
cos i need it, i need to hear you say
that i love you, i loved you all along
and i forgive you, been away for far too long
so keep dreaming cos i'm not leaving you anymore
not leaving, hold onto me never let me go.
keep breathing cos i'm not leaving you anymore.

i miss you boy. so much.

2007-02-19T17:28:00.000+08:00

bloodshot eyes.

2007-01-20T22:20:00.000+08:00

my heart's wrenching, how about yours?

i'm really disappointed with my mom till a point that i'm angry with her, i don't feel like talking to her anymore. and i'm not. i'm really upset. i just can't understand why she doesn't spare a thought for me or put herself in my shoes like she does to others. i just can't understand what's so illogical, and why do they not sympathize with me at all.

imagine being twenty without a space. by the way, a bed is not a space.

i just can't explain, its been within for years and years. sometimes i wish i never had to grow up so every thing could go my way. sometimes, i wish i am old enough to fend for myself and have my own roof. i hate growing up. especially when your parents think that you are independent enough but they never realise sometimes all you really need is still their care and concern. and you wish they were there all the time to listen to you, be supportive of everything, understand all that's going through but never expecting any in return. still treating you like they were their newborn.

i miss being a 5 year old, when they ask you how was your day every night.

i'm selfish but i'm still a kid.

2007-01-11T22:25:00.000+08:00

still a very monotonous life and i really dread it.

BUT i treasure all the times i have after work and off days to meet up with the ladies to rant and whine and just to keep that friendship going. a really short one and a half years. yet it felt like forever.

just yesterday but i'm already missing you guys.

lost in memories of what's left behind

2007-01-01T23:43:00.000+08:00

its 2007, my first entry of the year. sad enough, i just got home from work.

anyhow, celebrations was great at ren's.

so 06's gone like a breeze but not much of a breeze. bumpy rides through out and especially since 2005 and 2006 merged into one. so much to mention about but there are just these friends that seem to perfect my life,

our friendship fell apart this year but we managed to pull through, and somehow, it makes me confident about telling you that i know this is going to last.

invisible friend.(: nothing's to hard to hide from you or tell you. your shoulder, the lowest yet the warmest.heh.

mail friend in 2005 is mia.

ninjas

the brothers.

PLUS...mr wabbit.(: may i just say 06 was disgusting at the start of the year. but then all's well

i'm embracing 07 with open arms.

i'm feelin awkwardly weird, the feeling of uncertainty still looms ahead. still as indecisive but i should just say i really hate working. major backstabbing and stuff like that makes me realise how cruel the real world is. i feel so unsheltered and lonely out there because you seem to be fighting this battle on your own. trust only yourself, we learn ought to shut up. i'm learning. and i hate it. it makes me miss school and all the real faces i see. superficiality in the real world rips my life, i hate it. it makes me want to cry because i miss the girls so much. i miss true faces and real souls.

2006-11-20T11:11:00.000+08:00

A's ended.
the exam which we slogged for two years, or maybe just 2 months.

anyhow, i'm happy about it but i feel quite funny not havin to touch my books. hmm..

2006-11-10T22:59:00.000+08:00

cos i built you a home in my heart
with rotten wood
it decayed from the start
i built. and watched it rot.
slowly.

but there was nothing there all along.
there was nothing there all along.

ENOUGH

2006-11-03T09:12:00.000+08:00

screwed gp. big time.

i guess i should really just have done globalisation which i am so familiar with instead of sci & tech which i JUST prep for.

rahh.

i failed to link my pts to quality of life!! who would even have wrote cloning or gm food.
i'm dead.

2006-10-28T19:14:00.000+08:00

you can see how studying makes my eyes from bring small to smaller

and face, round to rounder.

DAMN!!

i'm so addicted to death note. will the ppl upload them faster.

2006-10-26T11:15:00.000+08:00

my two front teeth hurts.):
RAHH

fly away down the lonely roads of yesterday

2006-10-13T01:39:00.000+08:00

today's farewell. last day at SAJC.
class outing was so so fun, for once.

and for sure, i know i'm going to miss all of you guys.

it was good while it lasted.(:

2006-10-10T20:04:00.000+08:00

LONG ENTRY ALERT

was just reading blogs and stuff like that.
saw pictures of graduation days of other people,
it suddenly daunt on me that tmr's last day of school.
i can't imagine its been two years
and memories of first three months still vivid in the mind.

absolutely great friends made in these years.

turtles, the ones whom i had my many other first times with.
the ones that stood by me, seeing me skinny and ballooning into a fat ball again and many many more. lol
i love you girls so so much.

and then came along the ninjas.
HAHAH
fun with all that eating, mahjong and they are just like fellow bitches.
heh. but it was good.

and then we became ninja turtles.

hardly interacted with the rest in class, but they certainly have been nice and caring.
i'm looking forward to farewell assembly and the fun we will have then
but i'm so broke.
then again, i suddenly wish school never had to end.
the thought of this can just make me cry.
RAHH.

2006-10-10T20:02:00.000+08:00

Emotions are messy.
Tuck them neatly away and step into a clean,
sterile room where the procedure is simple.
Cut, suture, close.
But sometimes you're faced to a cut that won't heal.
A cut that rips its stitches wide open.

2006-10-10T19:55:00.000+08:00

if given the chance,
would you choose to keep or erase?

there's things i never wanna talk about again.
i'm sucha bitch.
but why are we even together for.
i feel like a fool.
many things make me wonder how important i really am.
like any other girl, i enjoy being treated like one.
i seriously forgot how it feels like to be dating or even be in love.
very very simple things shows it all.
maybe its not love anymore.
ever wondered?
just talking about pictures.
and fcuk you you lied.
i hate you. i hate you for it.
i really had enough.
enough is enough.
i have nothing left much to say.

2006-09-30T20:41:00.000+08:00

honestly, i thought we could make it all the way
barefoot on beaches dancing against the gray
but stone by stone, the castle crumbled to the ground
i stood and stared as you started to fall into the waves
there goes the sun, the oceans away

because you treat me like crap, i feel like giving up.

2006-09-30T13:46:00.000+08:00

alamak.

i'm a dumb kid. i had so much to rant about late last night and yet i chose to sleep. now i have nothing to write about.

am i dumb or not?

anyhow, i'm pleased about my econ results.(:

and i'm COO.

One may think we're alright
But we need pills to sleep at night
We need lies to make it through the day
We're not ok
But that's one thing
I would never
One thing I would never
That's one thing
I would never say to you

2006-09-19T14:06:00.000+08:00

look at the stars, look how they shine for you.

i'm addicted.
too, i'm addicted to you.(:

you've got me hypnotized

2006-09-15T01:04:00.000+08:00

blogger screwed up la
and i can't ta han the lappy. its such an odd ball

and to hell with prelims. it finally ended
and despite screwing up most papers, okay all. i'm still happy about it.
alamak it's really quit depressing when you get home flip through your notes and realise how much of rubbish you have written in your scripts. damn!
and there's always this last minute thingy that you realise, 'eh.. i know how to do la'.

DAMN DAMN DAMN

but on a happier note, i'm going tanning with jas tmr!! YAY.
its such rewards that pulls you through such hard times.
it's akin to a war.
and i seem to lose each time on this battle ground ever since my jc years.

WAIT,
i can't help but rattle on cos i'm so happy about prelims being technically over.

anyhow, i've since quarrelled with some bitch around.
fuck, it really pisses me off.
i TOTALLY hate her.
and mommy comes into the picture to make peace but seriously man, it takes one to know one.
you can imagine how disgustingly incorrigible she is.
the word PARASITE comes to best use in such instances.
every night before i sleep, i have to pray that God will remove all my evil thoughts and cleanse my soul and give me i calm and peaceful mind and teach me how to forgive la.
and its all cos of one
seriously it sucks.
you can't imagine how tired it is man
anyone but HER.

watson- -fuck off man knnbccb
what's up silly? may you not be an angry kid.(:
wrinkled face is not pretty.

2006-09-07T00:44:00.002+08:00

2006-09-07T00:44:00.001+08:00

2006-09-02T22:46:00.000+08:00

'did you hear that Porshe?'
'huh?'
'the sound that sounded like pig snores?'
'what?!'
'ya la so damn different from a lamborghini.'

who ever describes the vroom vroom sound as pig snores.
i have a interesting boyfriend. hahah.

"you wanna eat my fish"
and there's cheesy jumbo hotdog.

nah nah nah...
i'm bored from studying for the prelims. grrs.

2006-08-25T10:27:00.000+08:00

"no time for regrets anymore. its the LAST hurdle, you CAN if you strive..."

someone told me yesterday to make the best of what's left.
and i thank her for that.
and i know she's constantly praying for me and i know i have a friend in her.
a little conversation that became a prep talk in my mind.

As and Bs.

2006-08-21T17:27:00.000+08:00

Cause conflict and make your top pick
Restitch my ripped jeans
And take the old ones
Take the old ones out back
Sew them tight at the seams please
I've got so many ripped knees, ripped knees

i've never been more disappointed.

2006-08-09T20:05:00.000+08:00

2006-08-09T19:53:00.000+08:00

i'm studying like as thou i have forever before prelims begin.

And I'm choking right along with the words in my throat
I'm falling back in love with the letter you wrote
And I think that I was wrong, but I guess I don't know
I figure that I'll wait until you tell me so
you've been communicating to me through lies.
and lies are all i see in our coming days.

2006-07-31T18:52:00.000+08:00

i think i'm sucha fucking loner.

damn!

i want days to myself and time alone again.
sometimes, its good to be alone.
weirdly, i miss my break up days.
i hope our papa will feel fine on the demise of her grandmama.
we know you're sad, or at least i feel so.

i'm stressed.
over my studies
over my weight
over my pimples
over the need for extra time.

hm..

2006-07-31T18:30:00.000+08:00

You could be happy and I won't know
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go
And all the things that I wish I had not said
Are played in loops til it's madness in my head
Is it too late to remind you how we were
Not our last days of silent screaming blur
Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should've stopped you from walking out the door
maybe i shouldn't have stopped you.

2006-07-26T18:49:00.000+08:00

NYDC at 11.30am
mini GOLDmine wasn't mini at all.
buffet brktime

TMNT
the DUOS.(:

2006-07-26T18:45:00.000+08:00

island creamery day.(:

'reverso and cookies&creams is the ultimate mix...' YUMS.

2006-07-24T17:49:00.000+08:00

i'm totally feeling like an emo nemo today.
man!!
i lost mr elephant. really have no idea where is he!
): i thought i wouldn't be sad. but i'm feeling way worse than sad now.
where are you mr elephant?

ROARS.

someone please tell me where is he?cos i miss that green thing now.
comfort me on my loss! rah.

2006-07-24T17:47:00.000+08:00

ANGSTY

2006-07-23T19:36:00.000+08:00

i tell myself every other day that i need to get down to serious mugging.

apparently every day, the words fall on deaf ears.

i'm boggled.

2006-07-23T00:11:00.000+08:00

let's shake and burn, like an addict
my hearing's dead, only static
if i said your smiles are all that mattered
would you save my life.

so why should i take your hand when you can't promise me happiness?

2006-07-20T17:44:00.000+08:00

had an entire afternoon to myself.
and i'm totally loving such days, i can't ask for more.

it's been a long time since i'd time to myself, and be away from others.
i need MORE time alone.

i know i can't ask for more.

but i'm feeling queasy.
like something's up and not right at all.

emo nemo.

2006-07-19T16:37:00.000+08:00

'ah la ah la adidas.'
you always know who says such silly words.

bumped into candice this afternoon and we were both just about to go for a swim.
how cool is that?
there's always this funny and weird bond between us.
and like usual, we both think we are looking more and more haggard.
and someone actually suggested meeting up to sleep.
duh.
o well, and school to us is a total TOTAL drag.
i need not emphasize more.
i HATE school. if only i could find a stronger word than hate to describe.

but...

PERSEVERE.

there's nothing impossible out there.

when do i get to spend a day with my silly someone again?

2006-07-19T16:31:00.000+08:00

Time may take us apart, but I will still love you, I promise.

And when the stars, stars are falling
I'll keep calling

I promise that you'll be my one, my only everything
I'll never be untrue
And I promise that for all your love I will do anything
I will give you the stars, I will buy you the moon
Even through the longest of our nights
And even through the darkest days
Our love will find a way

And when the stars are falling
I'll keep calling
I will still love you

And when your dreams are fading
I'll be waiting
I will still love you

You were my summer breeze, my winter sun,
my springtime soul (springtime soul), my autumn touch of gold
And you were my sky, my rain,
the earth in which my love goes strong
The smile of my heart and the breath of my soul
Even if we find ourselves apart
We will hold our hopes and dreams
Forever in our hearts

And when the stars are falling
I'll keep calling
I will still love you

And when your dreams are fading
I'll be waiting
I will still love you

Tell me how you feel
I finally know how love feels
Tell me if its real
And my heart tells me its real
So real, So real

And when the stars are falling
I'll keep callingI will still love you
And when your dreams are fading
I'll be waiting
I will still love you

Time may take us apart, that's true
But I will always be there for you
You're in my heart, you'll be in my dreams
No matter how many miles we've seen
I promise you that I won't forget
The day we kissed or the day we met
The sky may fall and the stars may tilt
But I will still, I will still love you

And when the stars are falling
I'll keep calling
I will still love you

And when your dreams are fading
I'll be waiting,
I'll still love you

2006-07-17T21:22:00.000+08:00

there's always this long list of to-do list at the back of my head. but i never get down to doing them.
WHY?!!!!!!

i've absolutely zero discipline ever since i started my jc term.

and there was QES survey today which i disagreed so much, i think the school will hound me and ask me why.
but that's exactly what i think. not feel, so i'm not irrational.

anyway, here's ben & jerry's for you my SMALL chickenator.

hope you'll feel less lousy.(:

2006-07-14T21:03:00.000+08:00

just some short updates.

caught an extremely pretty glimpse of sunset at sentosa.
and had pure fun.

went over to island creamery, ben & jerry's
pulut hitam, nutella, riverso, chunky monkey, cookie dough, dublin mudslide.
splendid!

and

i got back my very horrendous bt2 results.

anyhow, it's friday today. and i'm very bored at home.
rah. and silly silly is away.
hm..

the sunset. it was pretty simply cause of you.

2006-07-14T20:53:00.000+08:00

the photos are very jumbled up.

the house crasher
on college day
an inspiration by Albert Einstein.
Guess whose feet? tee hee.
pulut hitam at island creamery
b&j's piggin' out day.(:
nutella
Riverso!

2006-07-14T13:40:00.000+08:00

what i do? what i do?
scooby doo be doo.
the silly boy said

hahah.

isn't that comical and uh.. cute?(:

2006-07-09T23:51:00.000+08:00

the new newton's just fine.(:

i've been doing lotsa voluntary work this weekend and cause of my fever last night, i failed to catch the third fourth placing. hm..

anyhow, catch this on you-tube.
hard gay.(:

i'm officially very broke and am wondering if i should change my bloggy add.

2006-07-05T17:05:00.000+08:00

so i've got my new blog skin up which is pretty much of just shifting them around and changing the picture.

i'm now thinking of chomp chomp on sat night instead. hm..
how CHICKENATOR?
small chickenator is jasmine and i'm the BIG one. literally.(:

this friday's college day but the school is getting smarter each time.
it's in the evening which means we have school the whole afternoon.
how cool is that?
duh.

anyhow, yve's school is really cool, they are screening the world cup match live in the school cpd and they get to stroll into school at 9 on monday.
unfair unfair!! so unfair.

2006-07-02T22:13:00.000+08:00

i present to you mutated mr wabbit.(:

2006-07-02T18:22:00.000+08:00

my com's alive!
hah.

2006-07-02T18:15:00.000+08:00

our birthday girl!(:

the MANGO ice cream cake that taste like the ones from the magnolia uncle.(:

2006-06-21T20:35:00.000+08:00

- garfield's a silly show.
' hahah. that's why only you will watch it what!'
'that's why i ask such a silly person like you to watch with me what!'
the face changes.
'i'm not going to watch it with you.'

omg! it was freaking cute.

hahah.

and you know, there will always only be a silly bear in my woods, no matter what.(:

and he's officially termed the pres of my silly clan.(:

2006-06-16T21:13:00.000+08:00

and sometimes i really wonder what am i blogging for?

anyhow, this week's been a little up and down.
i've been driftin away a lot from my books.
and seriously, i wish i could throw all these thoughts away from my mind.

first to begin with was vertigo.
it started the chain rxn.
or maybe even ahead of it.
it bugs me very much.
i don't understand why it turned out to be so mind boggling.
and i began wondering..

but somethings never changes,
i'm pretty upset over the fact that someone whom i always thought knew me well called me

CHEAP.

somehow, that's not the point.
i mean i always thought that we were really close and you knew i wasn't that kind of person.
plus this person probably knew how much he meant to me, even as a friend.
i didn't mind any one calling me a bitch.
but somehow, when it came out from you,
it was just so..
alright, i can't describe.

and when i was on my way home today,
it chanced upon me that i was really really soft hearted.
why did i even bother to forgive someone so much?
when the actions of others wasn't justifiable?
why?

but i made a promise to myself to never go again.
by that, i promise that a next mistake would mean a snap.
but i realise i made this promise tonnes and tonnes of times.
this time i'm really tired and i just can't imagine having you breach that trust again. but there isn't much trust to begin with. owell. i really feel distant from you. i don't the friends you hang out with anymore. and there really is a lot of girls around you now. what's more you only sweet talk to these girls but NEVER ME.

NEVER ME.
I'M just nothing more than a CHEAP BITCH.
YOU grabbed me by the head.

2006-06-12T21:24:00.000+08:00

Do you ever think about me?
Do you ever cry yourself to sleep?
In the middle of the night when you awake,
Are you calling out for me?
Do you ever reminisce?
I can't believe I'm acting like this
I know it's crazy...
How I still can feel your kiss

It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away
I miss you so much and
I don't know what to say
I should be over you...
I should know better but it's just not the case

It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away

Do you ever ask about me
Do your friends still tell you what to do
Every time the phone rings, Do you wish it was me calling you
Do you still feel the same
Or has time put out the flame
I miss you...
Is everything okay?

It's hard enough just passing the time
When I can't seem to get you off my mind
And where is the good in goodbye
Tell me why, tell me why

It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you...
I should know better but it's just not the case

It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away

it's really been six months since you went away.

2006-06-12T21:00:00.000+08:00

i forgot how it felt like to be in your arms suddenly.
that morning you grabbed me hard in the head.

you did go out with a girl one on one.
it was just a walk to 7/11.
you told a girl how much you just feel like seeing her that day.
when did you ever tell me that?
how would you have felt if i said that to a guy?
from 6 months ago when you left me,
you ever wondered how i felt?
when you left me all alone.
i picked myself up and you returned.
i was overwhelmed.
time went by, so quickly.
several instances of arguments.
and every single time, i was the one that said sorry.
did i really make so much mistakes in our time?
was it always me?
why do i never get to hear a single sorry and be pacified.
i never hear words of endearment.
i'm dying to hear that. but it never came...

suddenly i'm feeling tired. so God-damn tired.
its my fault again this time.
cos apparently you think i don't allow you to have girlfriends.
but ask me what grounds do you have to be angry with me?
you hugged sally and the other girl, i forgave you didn't i?
you lied to me about clubbing with HER, didn't i forgive you too.
and that's just this year, what about the past?
let the past be gone,
but have you not felt my graciousness and how much i love you.

where's yours?
when i said sorry and ask for it all?

when we were together, have i not obeyed you and stayed out of touch with guys, even in school.
what about you?

are you really oblivious to how you treat me?
love isn't like that.
you know what i want.
i don't feel it.
i'm just but an ordinary girl.
and today, i 've decided that i'm really tired.
you wanted your break last december.
you have been holiday-ing ever since.
you never returned. even with me asking you.
now you are ignoring me.
i've apologized, now tell me...
is it time i have my break?
i don't want to go, but i miss being pampered and really loved by you silly.

there wouldn't be another mr bearie like you.
because there's always somewhere deep down that belongs to you.
and because it's us we're talking about, i'll never forget how a family feels like.
silly as it may sound, you lumbered away on your bear claws.
and i'm a slow turtle, never able to catch up.
always waiting.
i'm staying put today.

you know how much i love you watson, but i'm really upset this time.

2006-06-06T20:38:00.000+08:00

i regret for what i've said.
reckon i'm in no position to decide all of a sudden.
i feel like i'm totally off now.

maybe you're just tied between. mayb you dont know what you want.
maybe all you need is time.

Come on Baby Blue
Shake up your tired eyes
The world is waiting for you
May all your dreaming fill the empty sky
But if it makes you happy
Keep on clapping
Just remember
I'll be by your side
And if you don't let go its gonna pass you by

2006-06-06T14:19:00.000+08:00

i tried to fight the feeling,
the feeling took me down.

2006-06-06T13:59:00.000+08:00

i haven had cold and clammy hands and feets for a long time.
december holidays feels like its repeating.
maybe i'm being over sensitive.
or maybe it's been over long ago,
but i was perpetually stuck in my dreamland despite all.
you got me tearing in front of the computer screen again boy.
you got me waiting constantly.
now,
tell me how much i mean.
and i wonder what's in store.

i forgot how it feels like to be crying again.
i'm tired, a little more today then before.
i want us like before.
seemingly impossible anymore.
where's our love gone too.
am i that horrible.

i suddenly feel like i haven moved on from where you left me.
i miss someone now.
someone so close and so dear.
someone who would tell me that he loves me every night,
tells me he misses me and not to someone else.
he seemed to have vanished half a yr ago.
maybe i should have guessed it right from the start.

maybe i should have. maybe it's time.
i think i'm just that silly girl.

2006-06-03T13:48:00.000+08:00

i wondering how much more of you is left here with me.

and how much more of you do i need.

2006-06-01T21:41:00.000+08:00

just gotten down to reading this really really sweet entry on someone's blog.

it kinda gets you reflecting on life and if there's a purpose.

a churchmate of this girl passed on 4yrs ago. when she was only nine. she was a young warrior. and some how, she lighted up the world with her cheery self and always saying, 'God loves you and i love you too!'

it made me wonder if life is more than what we're living for now.
the constant pursue for material wealth and many other wants in life.

this blog entry wasn't only derived by this, but it made me feel like it was God planned.

was talking to someone today about problems and all. and it seemed like we demand a reason for everything too often. if only we could take a step back, wouldn't things have been different? it's more or less like problems on relationships like letting go and similar encounters? letting go be it passin on or whatsoever.

do we never realise that a grander plan is always ahead?

i think i lack a purpose in life.

and i was browsing through some pictures, it got me wondering why and what do i really want. is there something more that i should learn about, about you and about my life.

i'm see changes in myself that makes me feel like somethings shouldn't be carried on.

2006-05-31T21:21:00.000+08:00

and i cant wait to write you a letter for
everyday that i cant bear
you can fill these moments with words like
forever
but you gotta swear
don't forget to remember me
let's just hope that nothing happens
wait forever not for me
life-long problems and last kisses;
all you ever gave to me

2006-05-31T21:18:00.000+08:00

how sweet is this?

2006-05-30T20:39:00.000+08:00

i've gotten feedback that my blog sounds terribly emo.
serious?
but the fact is they are just really nice song lyrics and things i chance upon online!

anyhow, it's the holidays!
but to hell with poverty.

i've got a real long shopping list to grapple with.

and if i could only stop the car
and hold onto you,
and never let go...
i'll never let go.
as we round the corner
to your house
you turned to me and said,
"i'll be going through withdrawal of you for this one night we have spent."
and, i want to speak these words
but i guess i'll just bite my tongue,
and accept "someday, somehow"as the words that we'll hang from.
and i...
i don't want to speak these words.
cause i, i don't want to make things any worse.
and i...
i don't want to speak these words.
cause i, i don't want to make things any worse.
why does tonight, have to end?
why don't we hit restart,
and pause it at our favorite parts.
we'll skip the goodbyes.
if i had it my way,
i'd turn the car around and runaway,
just you and i.

SPASTICATED (:

2006-05-24T18:41:00.000+08:00

the hockey girls lost !! RAH. but i'm really proud of their achievements.(:

i've gotten my braces on and they are green! coolness.(:

school's a drag but hols approaching in two days time.(:

miss you silly watty.(:

someone promised me this show, and i'm all excited over it.(:

2006-05-22T20:45:00.000+08:00

we seem to have forgotten about the present.

it was so blatent.
how did things change the way we never wanted it to?

i never told you how much you meant.
now i am telling.
is it far too late?
you're just as important as life could be.
life somehow feels incomplete without you.
but tell me when,
when are you coming back to cradle me in your arms.
or never in our case?

live for the moment, take a step back and bridge that gap.

i see your true colours shining through
i see your true colours and that's why i love you
so don't be afraid...

2006-05-18T21:29:00.000+08:00

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along

2006-05-18T21:07:00.000+08:00

o just fuck it!

school's like sucha fucking bloody drag.
come on!
wake up your fucking idea mom.

rah.

it totally piss me off. like wtf?! i only have econ lecture to attend and gp is like fucking useless.
every fucking friday i just rot my time away, like i get any thing done in school. by that, i meant ANY thing except to sleep away it all, i might as well get the comfort of my sweet little bed. i'm not least bothered. not like i pon school and get nothing done. i do study!! dumb shit.

i just shut my mouth up this time. my brother did some talking. everyone's pissed off because of my mom's super uber laggy brains.
i think they should get live updates about students nowadays and start understanding that i really do nothing else better in school. school's nothing but a place where we waste our youth away.

but somehow, there's always meaning in things we do.

rugby finals' was fantastic. SA WON !!! ((((:
the crowd was overwhelming, the game was fantastic, the school spirit was strong.
for once i loved school.

look look, no one knows me better than i do. i know what's going on in my life. i have my direction so stop telling me what to do.

silly, you got me laughing on my bed. you got me craving for you all over again.
you got me thinking and knowing how different life is without a sweetie like you.
o boy, how much i love you.(:

2006-05-07T19:08:00.000+08:00

So you stole my world
Now I'm just a phony
Remembering the boy
Leaves me down and lonely
Send it in a letter
Make yourself feel better
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't need me back
You're just the best I ever had

2006-05-07T19:04:00.000+08:00

i kinda hate such days. being sick and feeling all alone.

somehow, something sparked off certain thoughts.
nevertheless, i felt that it was so right to think that way.

I'm always assuming the worst,
but you're going on nonetheless
and there's nothing to cushion your heart led fall.
Letters from further away
keep pulling me close to home.

So I'll hit the pavement
it's gotta be better than waiting
and pushing you far away
cause I'm scared.
So I'll take my chances
and head on my way up there.
Cause turning to you is like falling in love
when you're ten

its time we leave the past behind.