01 August 2007
i feel like an emo nemo now.
i wish i could blog this in a language no one understood. but anyhow, it doesn't matter since no one really knows that i have a blog and reads it which uh.. pleases me.
i read a book and i became all emo because of this book. call me stupid, call me dumb but i just can't help but to say it relates a lot to me. other than the fact that i don't have a best friend that lasted me thru five till now.
but isn't it so true that i am turning twenty in four months time yet i still look around for advice, for someone to be there to assure me that what i am doing is right. give me a quick nudge, even the weirdest advice makes me feel better. i still look around to check and see what others are doing, to make sure i am not completely different. why is that i feel like i am the only person confused and concerned about the choices i have made and where i have headed? everywhere i look,i see people getting on with it, being so sure of their lives.
and i can't seem to follow suit.
never mind that, i am starting to feel so confused about what i am doing right now.
GROWUPWENDYANDSTOPWHINING.
ihatetotell youthisbutiamnotsureaboutyouanymore.
heyiknowiamsowrongbutijustcantadmitcosifidoiamcontradictingmyselfterribly.
whydoyouhavetogosuchmeasures.damn.thesedaysijustdontthinkyouaretheone
anymoremaybeyouneverwerefromthefirstdaytillnowitwasmewhowantedyouback
andwhydidievendothatwasntitfinewhenyousaidyouwantedtoleaveandiweepedallday
andsomehowfoundawayoutbutstickedtoyouthenirealisesoonenoughthatitwasfinebeing
alonecosihavefriendswholovemebutthenyoustuckyourfootinagainandigladlyoblige
butdidntknowifitwasrightandwegotonnowalmostayearagain
butsometimesfeellikethefeelingsaresofadedtheywerenomoreinexistenceand
nowifinallyrealisethatwhatwedidwassowrongandthatwhenweendedayearandahalfago
weshouldsimplymoveonnowthefeelingssodeepifinditsohardtoletgo
wehavehadunfulfilleddreamsthatwhenithinkaboutismileandcringesohard
feelingloved.realitycheck:wrongdirection.how?
wendy
twenteen
sajc uoL
when the tough gets going
just keep walking