it was officially over last night and i didn't had a wink of sleep at all since then. i wasn't feeling sad actually. kinda got it all expected. well.. i do feel the same way too just that i think differently. wouldn't we have less time to spend? hah. okay anyway, i propose to him something and after some time i decide that it wasn't going to work. so i decided that we could be really good friends like baby and rui? i suppose so.. but i kinda think that he would stop loving me after some time. but i enjoy the physical aspect with him. not like i'm horny or something. so i'm suppose to be enjoying frredom now, but it's starting to get a little lonely and sad. oh wells.. it's okay. i'm a strong girl. i can get over this not like we are not going to be friends anyway. but my heart feels really numb. i feel like crying but it doesn't seem to be coming out anyway. i feel much happier actually just that i know i'm gonna miss an activity partner very much. someone that i can stuff all my leftovers too, to cry on, to rub on, to tell him all that rubbish. i don't think it's goin to happen anymore cos i think he'll find me a bug, a really irritating bug. anyhow, it has been great being his girl for the past 3yrs. now i'm single but unavailable.(: there's so much i wish to do suddenly. never mind no one is going to do that with me anyway. well.. i hope school starts soon so i can pass time more easily.(:
11:11 AM