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13 December 2005

i'm really trying to keep myself occupied so time will pass faster and i won't feel so alone.
the thing is really getting into me sometimes.
it would be obvious that i would really be sad and stuff. but it's so weird. i've already put everything aside to ask for forgiveness and even accept whatever he has decided on. but still i'm not getting a reply. maybe like what pantle has said, he want's to think about it but does it really take so long?i really need that reply boy.i think it's so selfish to avoid all that questions and decide to keep me waiting at bay. and at this point in time, i won't deny that i miss him and stuff but if he really thinks that there's no much chemistry anymore or whatever i would have to give up.at least tell me straight in my face so i won't feel like a silly goose or a stupid girl waiting for someone to want her.

i really have no idea what to do. i'm okay except for the occassional tears. but i'm really handling it well. at least that's what i think. i just don't want my friends to worry about me. really..

have been doing some retail therapy recently. i swear it works. time kinda pass now but i'm switching on and off my phone recently, so turts it's gonna e a little difficult to get me. cos each time there's an urge to message him, i switch it off. then when i'm fine, i get it on again. i mean i think this is the most feasible idea. heh. anyhow, i really thank God that he has blessed me with friends like vera who even calls me from taiwan, xiaojiao, baby, huiling, candice and charlene who bitches about him to make me feel better. really thank God for these friends. i wouldn't have known what to do if they are not around. they always try to make me feel better and it works girls. from time to time, things do change but you know sometimes they are not a bad change. it makes you realise how important you are in others lives. my friends they really do care a lot. they try to tell me things to make me think like there's still hope since he hasn't reply. but darlings, it's really okay. i'm a strong girl remember? i will conquer this like i conquer running 12 rounds. i know i'll be fine, just fine with you people especially my turtles who are always there. huiling and candice darling, maybe i should really have a macdonald's birthday party.

thanks guys. love you guys lots.(: i really feel the concern. i'm doing fine.

9:46 PM


wendy
twenteen
sajc uoL



when the tough gets going
just keep walking