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26 December 2005

and so i spent my christmas at church and after that at some churchmates house. had fun laming around and there are a few conversations i would really like to speak about.

the very first was with samuel at dinner. and he was like 'we've known each other for 6 years!!" i'm shocked. hah. time flies. and then he asked where's LEE CHOW HUI?? and i was we broke up? hah. he asked me when, how many eons ago and i just said five days ago. oh wells. we talked about it and about him and his girlfriend. and i suppose a couple really needs to sort out things together. and he said probably you and watson are just to far apart. and well, maybe. and so he got me by chance and substantiated my point and watson's point of being demanding. i suddenly guess i know it. and i really can't force things. well, i really miss us together. i mean 6 years of friendship and 3 whole years being really close together. how do i get by this? and even till now, we never really talk about things. he told me many things that i shouldn't put down here so i think i won't. anyway it was really great talking to him. thanks sam! (:

and finishing that, i was talking to candice. and we talked about the conversation with sam? and we both thought samuel is really matured now. hah. and probably watson's still growing up and he will probably know what kinda girl's best for him soon. so.. we continued and i told her that the message at church today really spoke to me. like in the clip, "how deep is our friendship?" in every single sense be it with God or friends or with him. yupp so it got me pondering. and they were talking about God's love being so gracious. and it got me wanting to be gracious too. and LOVE is patient and kind. it has gotta be really really patient i guess. i'm forgiving but i can't forget. so i don't think i'm very kind actually. and candice deduced that probably God was trying to speak to me through this period in life. to understand the purpose of things. and i've decided to find out what's the purpose, the answer.

well, it's gonna be a tough period with all those misses and memories. i can't say much cos this morning i almost couldn't keep my hands to myself.

and i had a nightmare of him again. it's been a long time. it was a weird dream. and then i received a message like we'll never be together again. i woke up tearing like it was so damn real. i feel crying so hard. i held onto my phone wanting to message him like DON'T? but well, i don't know. there isn't any point telling him anymore cos things weren't the same as before.

i've decided to be gracious and let him go and decide between other girls, who's best for him. pleaase remind me if this goes off track.(:

1:28 PM


wendy
twenteen
sajc uoL



when the tough gets going
just keep walking