the illusion of coincidence

20 November 2005

i've a lot to cover in this post.

17th november 2005
first on the list: i was disappointed with a friend not knowing my intentions.

fine! it's okay. really it is. but i'm just affected cos' i thought you knew me. but oh wells, it's really fine now since she didn't head to the bar in the end. anyhow, i still love her like MAD.(:

next: i saw my secondary school classmates. and thanks to pantle, (she pushed me to them) i'd almost the worst time in that day.

alright! i got to put it down that it wasn't the worst experience. but i just wonder why do people get into poly and change. or maybe i'm stereotyping. just my friends changing. many think they became more feminine. they start to have boyfriends that are really old. well.. i would think that's fine but something about it just feels wrong. perhaps the way they put the idea to me. it's kinda sad that now, all they talked about is the lives of their boyfriends. on the other hand, i realised i'd stopped wanting my boyfriend more than before. you would probably argue that, "but you've been with him like FOREVER..!!". i beg to differ. our relationship is stronger now than what it had always been. and i really thank God for this.(:

the idea put across by them was really insane. they have became so so so SHALLOW. i just need love support and gifts. and i can't really describe. it's just the feeling i get. i sorry.

i've been contemplating about this recently; what do i want?

okay! RANDOMLY.

1. i need my brains now to start muggin real hard for A's
2. i need money to go shopping. (i ALWAYS do)
3. i wanna have a nice birthday bash this year plus a great christmas
4. i want the wabbit and the turtles to live happily ever after again
5. i want a dollhouse.(: yippies.
6. endless food supply.
7. from the Lion King Soundtrack: can you feel the love tonight? all time favourite.
8. i wanna get lotsa hot shorts.
9. i want my flowy skirts.
10. i want to buy buttoned blouses.
11. CHANGE my wardrobe.
12. revamp my room
13. stop crashin you damn computer.

you know this could go on forever... but i realised that live isn't all that simple. you live not to get what you want. this year's been a horrendously fast paced year. i swear i haven't had enough. many things are gettin into me recently. i wonder how many eons later do we realise what we are doing now were a total waste of time because i'm so sure i wasted so much of my youth on countless of dumb stuff. i realised that i've become more sensible, not that i'm praising myself but i'm seriously. how many of us do reflect because of daily happenings? i've found joy in reading a book with a cup of coffee, playing bridge at shaw, talking about how i feel to my friends over ice-kachang and i've greatly improved my skills on character judgement. a new love: running.(; the best discovery of the year would be... *beat drums* theeeeeee TURTLES !!!!!!!!

i really love them to bits.

and also wabbit. i always wanna thank you and tell you how much of it all you have brought to me but i'm really shy. heh.

i love the wabbit and my lovely turtles. my best discovery of the year. forever they would be.(:

sometimes, you've to sin a little to find heaven on earth.((:

12:33 AM